I have been extremely disheartened over the last couple weeks, as my whiteness (privilege) didn’t care to see fully just how unequal this supposedly “Land of the Free” is. Well I am starting to open my eyes, ears, heart and mind wider and wider, and now seeing the truth and that truth has brought me to my knees. My heart aches and moans in agony. My stomach twists and turns and feels like a separate being. I will not let myself become comfortable again. I will be uncomfortable and have uncomfortable conversations. I will rise with my black and brown brothers and sisters (As well as my Latino Husband and 1/2 Latino Children) and I will fight for them. I am ashamed of my white ancestors but I have the opportunity to create change now, and I know that my voice is important – more than ever. Let’s stay awake and come together and bring true change to our society. I am aware it will take a long while, but it is worth every second. One step at a time. Together.
My brain has recently been exploding with silver linings from this quarantine, and also worst case scenarios that this quarantine could bring for me and my family and countless others. Now that my family made it back safely from visiting our second home Costa Rica, I am settling somewhat into routine, and getting lots of fresh air.
Here on the North Shore of Lake Superior there is so much open space, and such few people. This has been the biggest blessing during the recent pandemic. We had a bonfire this week on the lake and although I loved it, my heart ACHED for so many. Being outdoors can be a break from the news, a break for the brain, a way to reset and start over, and so many people cannot even safely spend time outdoors. Towards the end of our trip in Costa Rica, we were ordered not to go to beaches or restaurants or anywhere. It put us in this spiral – painful to watch the news, but truly there was this magnet drawing you into the pain every moment without respite.
I want each of you to know that as I create while watching the Lake’s waves roll in I am thinking of you. I am thinking of a moment of peace for all of us. I am thinking of getting out of our heads and into our hearts for at least part of a day. I am thinking about meaningful conversations we could have together amidst all of this time. I am thinking of my responsibility as a maker to keep making and keep processing this life that is so many things.